Its a Girl!!

This just in...i'm going to be an aunt to a beautiful baby girl! How do i know she will be beautiful? She is a creation of God, Katy and Chad...what could be any more beautiful?! Anyway, i'm way excited and can't wait to see them all again!!

Single's Awareness Day

I was talking with my friend Collette tonight about how Valentine's Day just isn't a happy day. Yes, its all about the love and the companionship. But i have some qualms about the day. Its not a particularly good day for anyone, in a relationship or not.

Obviously if you are not in a relationship it is a whole day devoted to pointed out the fact that you don't have that special someone in your life. That you are in fact, not dating. i'm not so sure this is a problem for most people, but i'd like to meet someone who is single who hasn't thought about the fact that its a day devoted to love.

If you are in a relationship, its not a particularly great holiday for you either. In some cases, you are apart from your loved one(*ahem*). Then you can't even celebrate the wonderful day together. In other cases, it is way too expensive to do anything on that day because businesses and consumers have jacked up the prices and the amount willing to be paid. So for college students, its just becomes too much. For people who actually do something, its become more about the day than about the reasons behind it. Why do you spend so much for one night of love showing? Show it all the time!

i do appreciate the day and the idea behind it, but i wish that we would think about love all year round. How God loves us, how we love our friends, how we love our family. These things are all the time. So this Valentine's Day, i'd invite you to just remind those you love that you do, and thank God for his love - the greatest love in the world. Then do it the next day, and the next day after that...

Yeah...its true

Here's my life story!

http://www.nataliedee.com/011606/nerds.jpg

Men and their thoughts...pfff!

I’ve read my share of dating advice columns and books, and the two things that stand out the most are the fact that men don’t want an available girl and they don’t want the relationship defined. These two things confuse the heck out of me. Let’s maybe dig into these and see what is going on…

First of all, Men don’t want a girl who is available. Let’s think about this for a second…if they aren’t available, how are they ever going to get the girl? Do they want a girl that already has a guy? If that’s the case I’m pretty sure it says in the man handbook that that is against all rules of man. So that’s not right. So maybe it means that they don’t want a girl that calls or can always do something? And well see, that doesn’t make sense either because if they really wanted the girl, then wouldn’t they want to see her and spend time with her? So maybe it means they don’t want a girl who needs them or wants to be with them. No, no, that doesn’t work either because what’s the point of wanted something that doesn’t want you back? Nope, still confusing…

Second, what do they mean they don’t want to define the relationship? Do they just want to be friends with benefits because that is not a good situation because then you can get caught up in physical things that lead to heartache and the Clapp. Do they just want to let the girl hang there while they figure stuff out? That’s way unfair to the girl because she deserves someone that wants her and needs her back. Do they want a relationship with no expectations or boundaries? Because that doesn’t work either because then its not really a real relationship.

I guess maybe what they mean by these things is that they don’t want a whining and needy girl and they don’t want to be reminded all the time about what their relationship is because it ruins the fun of the relationship and you spend more of your time talking about what your deal is rather than just being with each other. And it is about the chase and what you can “get.”

Well, if this is the case, guys, let me fill you in on something. Women don’t do these things. And if they do, maybe they aren’t the woman for you. We don’t want a needy and whiny guy. We don’t want to constantly be talking about what relationships really mean. Perhaps with our girlfriends, but not to you. So whoever is writing these self-help dating books and articles, I’ll let you in on a little secret – free of charge! When you find someone that is interested in you and you’re interested back. Take if for what its worth and have fun seeing why God has placed this person in your life. If it comes to the point of talking about what you are – talk about it and get it ALL out in the open. Then when you have questions later, they might have been answered already, or, you’ll already feel free to talk about it. As for the chase…it is nice to have a chase, but only when you know where they other’s heart is at. Granted I’m not relationship expert, but that’s just a little tip from me to you!

Pirate who doesn't do anything!

I am currently the pirate who doesn't do anything. I am a procrastinator to the core and need help! Seriously, do you think procrastination is a disease? How do we learn the procrastination is okay? We've always been told in school that if you procrastinate, you will never get anywhere in life. Well, i'm here, and i've procrastinated my way to the top.

I was thinking too, i could never be homeschooled! Oh man, could you imagine...further your education on your own...and not really given any constraints as to how to do it. Yeah, maybe that's why people who are homeschooled at some point in their life are so laid back. They have no worries in the world because they never had to worry about dealines or anything like that. Do you think most of the homeschoolers are procrastinators?

Maybe because they have no time limits...they don't procrastinate because it really is their future in THEIR hands. So much to think about, and yet, i don't care...i'll think about it later.

Love Connection

Peanut butter and jelly. Eggs and bacon. April showers and May flowers. Eric Clapton and his guitar. Brandon and Minnesota. All things that go together, yet were apart at some point.

Lately I’ve been wondering why certain things are brought together in this world – why God places things together. I guess it just makes me wonder. What if God decided to place peanut butter and beef stew together? I’m pretty sure people would be sick if this was a popular pair. Or what if He decided to place Brandon and Iowa together? Then we’d all have far less respect for him now than we ever had. But that’s just it, he didn’t place these things together. He has created these pairs for a specific purpose.

Although I’d love to know why these things are together, I don’t think it is our job to understand God’s thinking. I do however, think it is our job to notice God’s work in our lives – to not question it, but respect and obey His will in our lives.

I thank God that he didn’t put beef and peanut butter together. I thank him that he didn’t place Brandon in Iowa (who wants a relative from Iowa anyway?). I thank Him that he put my friends in my life. But mostly, I just thank Him for this life, for His love, for his will in my life.

Auld Lang...

The name January comes from the Roman god of beginnings, of past and future, Janus; he is depicted as having two faces looking in opposite directions. I love this visual. How we look back at our year in review and try to remember all the things that we have had happen, that we’ve seen, that we’ve learned, and in this time try to draw a life lesson from it.

However, as I try to revisit the grand old year of 2005, I can’t help but think that I’m all the wiser to what not to do, and only informed of what is happening now. Each year I grow smarter and more mature (or I’d like to think so). Each year big things happen and I learn from them. So as we look back at this year, let’s think about Janus and what we’ve seen.

Being the Roman god of past and future, beginnings, bridges, doorways, and of peace, it’s appropriate to look at the things that reflect these. So let’s begin. In no particular order, something that was a bridge in my life would be my transfer to UW-Platteville. It was something that involved my past and my future (hence the bridge). As I look at the bridge, I’m glad by the fact that I’m over it and onto my new situation. Not that the old was terrible (quite the opposite), but excited with what I’ve seen so far on the other side.

My doorway could be described as my role in Intervarsity. Becoming a small group leader was a huge open doorway for my spiritual walk, and I cannot imagine any other way that I would have grown this year. It was an absolute blessing. The thing that is my past is Winona. I loved Winona, and I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world (heck I met my best friend there). But I am glad that it is my past and that I’m happy where I am now.

I’ve saved the best for last. My beginning is the most exciting thing to me. When things are just beginning I find it easy to get caught up in all the hustle and bustle, but I have a good feeling about this beginning. My most memorable beginning actually just happened, and I am excited that as the new year begins, my new life at Platteville begins, and my new perspective on things begins, my new relationship begins as well. Simeon is amazing, and I cannot wait to spend more time with him and create more memories.

So as you look backwards and forwards this year, don’t forget to look sideways and up and down, for sometimes the best time of the year is when you get the best of the new one and the old one, so you can see the new beginnings. What are some of your favorite memories of 2005?

Before Technicolor...

Should things be in plain black and white, or is it okay to have a grey area? I've been thinking recently, that sometimes there are things that should seem black and white, but when you actually experince them, its all shades of grey.

You know you like someone, that's pretty clear; you know you want to date them, that's pretty clear too. But when things actually start to happen, it gets fuzzy. You now are dating - how do you act? How do you introduce each other? How do you spend time together, yet spend time apart? Will you have to meet the parents? When they are gone, do you go to visit? How serious do you want this to be?

If there were no grey area, i guess there would be many ups and downs, and never just times where you are there, living life. so maybe we need the grey area in life to lead up to the blacks and whites. There are still some aspects of life that are black and white. I mean, life or death, and i choose life. You like the person, that's pretty clear, what more could you want?

I DO want the grey though, i want to experience things and learn along the way. That's the excitement of relationships.

Wish me luck tonight :)

The only kid...

Do you remember when you were younger and there was always a kid on the playground that forgot their shoes because it had snowed, and they wore their boots? If you were ever this kid, you know how it feels. You feel retarded and socially you turn into a leper because you are wearing your pink moon boots. I was this kid more than once. But...is it so bad to be this kid? Should we want to be the outcast or the in crowd?

I've been thinking lately that maybe its not so bad being alone. Maybe Paul was right in his activism towards solidarity. Did God really create us to be put together? Although i think we need the company and fellowship sometimes, i'm not sure that we need the "other half."

I've been struggling lately with where i am in my relationships. Friends are amazing, but what are they good for? Or maybe its just that a certain type of friendship is all we need. Let's say we were that kid from the playground. We are forced to the outside corners of the social pecking order and we never even get a bite. What would be so bad about that? You get more of the imagination rights (no other kids messing up your story line), you get instant access to the swings because you, unlike the others, already have your boots on, and you get to think for yourself and see the world in a completely different light.

I'm not saying that i don't appreciate my friends...if i didn't have meredith in my life, i'd be messed up. She is my best friend in the entire world. I got lucky finding her when i did. But i'm not near her now. Who should i be friends with? Guys are NOT good friends - they only lead to confusing and heart ache. The girls thus far at p-vegas can't form an emotion for the life of them, and my family is my family...sometimes i just don't want to tell them everything (they are too involved already and won't be objective about the situation).

So i'm torn...in these next two years of my life, should i just be a nomad and travel around not connected to anyone? or should i find those few people that may make my time barable until i can be near Meredith again? And that's the other thing...what if i've already had my time with meredith and when i'm ready, she's already got friends.

Oh, how i wish life wouldn't be so dependant on answers....

Oh, and by the way...its snowing...again...time to slip and fall again.

Confused Confucius?

When life gets cloudy, we immediately want it to be clear. When math starts to get challenging people decide it isn’t for them. When relationships start to become confusing, people want answers. Is life really that particular that we need answers right away? Are we the cause of all the confusion or is it really that complicated?

I am subject to wanting answers, and wanting them now. Who doesn’t want to know how life is going to end up? Myself, for one. Even though I want answers, why would you wish your life away and spoil the ending? Life is pretty straight-forward in some aspects. There is no surprise ending when dealing with life or death – to live is death, and to die is gain. So why in our lives do we try to muddy up the equation?

When two added to two is four, its simple. Then we want to try to add some spice to the equation and say that the square root of two squared plus two raised to the first power is…still four. Hmm, is that really that confusing? Let’s try it again; we need some more excitement. Let’s say that the sum of e to the natural log of two, plus six raised to the zero power times the cubed root of eight equals…four. Puzzling, right? The only thing that is puzzling is that in each of the situations, we try to make it mean more and be more complicated than it really is, but each time, it comes out to be four.

Now, I’m not saying that life isn’t a fuzzy shade of gray sometimes, but when it comes to the important things in life – life itself, love, truth, meaning – its as clear as day. So in relationships, when things are getting confusing there is no need to try to solve the problem. There are ways of dealing with it to make it less confusing. You could just ask the person what is going on. You could avoid the situation completely, or you could just keep going on, knowing that when it comes to being loved, or loving, you’re already taken care of, this is just an added bonus.

I haven’t quite solved this equation yet, but I think it could be a little bit of everything, and hopefully it still all adds up to four.

Loraine is gone?

Sometimes things happen in life that are difficult to deal with. They create awkward moments and stress. However there are two benefits to these situations: 1) You learn from it and 2) You see things clearer than when you started. I think its really cool how God works in the relationships we build and work at.

It makes me wonder how God plans all these mishaps and blunders, yet plans the beauty and fun of other things. Maybe we have to go through the awkward times in order to experience the comfort. Maybe its like a pre-requisite in order to get into the good - you have to suffer! I guess i would almost hope this is the way it works.

If people didn't ever experience the horrible workings of relationships and the world, they might never learn and see what can happen. I think its better to know and appreciate what has happened in the past in order to appreciate what is given to us in our future. the things we have to weigh out in order to see that God has given and taken away are big things.

I was talking to a friend of mine recently and he said that we have to examine what we are with that other person. If we bear more fruit together or apart, and if the answer is apart, then its time to reconsider the relationship. This could be one of the hardest things, because of two reasons: It could be hard because you truly like the other person, and you don't want to give it up, or it could be hard because you're not sure about the other person, and the thought of being with them scares you, but you're so good together. That raises a question in my mind - if you aren't interested in that other person, should you try it and hope that God provides the attraction because you are so good together, or should you just stay as friends, but close as a couple?

And how do we, as humans that sin, know so early on that things aren't right? How do we know that when we say no, its for God's will, and not our own? Challenging questions, and i want feedback! I love to hear what others have to say, so let me know...

But until God shows me some of these answers, i guess i can see clearly now...loraine is gone :) (bad joke, i know)

mature, schmature

Yeah, that's right, i'm a legal gambler now! Watch out! That's about all i see as a perk in this new age of twenty-one. that and i feel a whole lot older!

More to post later this week...its been busy!

Some People Have All the Luck

Why is it, in a world of 6 billion people, do we as individuals, meet the people we do? Is it by luck? By chance? By mere coincidence? Or is it in a plan, somehow it will find its way of surfacing, and then we’ll know the Great Mystery. There are some things in life that we just have to accept, and not know why they happen.

Here’s my question. Why do some people luck out and have kids? Why do some people luck out and meet the person of their dreams? Why do some people get to have their dream job right after college?

Three ways of making this happen depends on the situation. The first way to make your luck change would be to go after it. The job situation is controllable. We can control our luck with jobs by pursuing them and making it happen. If each person had the deep desire and ambition they could get whatever job they want. I mean look at that kid name Barry, he went for math, but secretly wanted to be a Culver’s connoisseur for the rest of his life. Dreams can come true.

The other ways of making great switch of luck would be to wait. This love situation is the one of waiting (or so I’m told). I guess people who say this can be right. One of three things could happen when waiting for love. First, it could actually show up sometime within the decade. Second, you could eventually figure out that you really don’t need the love of another human being to survive. Third, you could just say its love after so many years because you’re so desperate for it. So go ahead wait…it will come.

The last way it could happen for you means spending lots of money. Its true, some people are physically incapable of having children. If I could give away my uterus to them, I would in an instant. But for some it’s not in the cards. There is a way to fix this. Money cures all. You could adopt or get fertilization hormones. The possibilities are endless!

So there you have it folks. Three blissful ways to getting what you want – tire yourself, wait until you die, and spend all the money you have. OR, you could just accept the cards you get and play the best euchre hand known to man. Its been done before.

Throwing in the Towel...

When is enough, enough? In relationships, when is it time to say au reviore? I was talking with someone the other day about relationships and how to know when its time to let it die a slow and painful death. Sometimes, it’s just not the right one; but how do we know?

What are the tell tale signs that a relationship is not meant to be? Can we, as individuals know exactly when a relationship is over? Of course there are some circumstances where you know it’s time. Abuse is not a relationship and one should swiftly exit the situation as soon as possible. If your relationship has turned into the spaceship from Armaggedon and has lost all contact with its mother ship, its time to look at what you’re willing to let loose (this is referring to loss of communication if you didn’t follow).

I’m not specifically talking about these kinds of relationships, I’m talking about the ones that have either started and were doomed from the start, but we as humans want that love and affection so we stick it out, or the relationships where its good for a while then its bad for a longer while.

I have had my fair share of doomed relationships, and by fair share, I mean two. In each of these situations there were big red flags screaming, get out! This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam! But yet, I stuck them out, and eventually got hurt in the end. Could I have prevented this by taking that heed and going with it? Or was it in the plan to royally mess up but be royally picked back up?

I think when we know, we know. I mean, when we know its time to stick it out, or leave, we know. Its hard to get through the bad times if it is a relationship that we stay with, but that’s what makes it stronger. Perhaps that’s the beauty of it, we’ll just know when we do – life is one big Sherlock Holmes novel waiting to be solved.

But here’s my situation, I feel like its cold outside and I’m standing in a puddle. One foot is dry and on its way to a good thing, but the other foot has now seen the bad side, and is cold and wants to quit all together. Here’s the kicker, all I have to do is remove my foot from the cold dirty water and start back in the good direction I was on – I just have to wait for it to dry a little and I’ll be fine.

So I guess in times of relationships, we have to stick it out gnome matter what. I mean, how else will we find out if our foot dries? And as the great south says…Click, Click, we don’t Quit!!

As if Halloween wasn't scary enough...

During the month of October people from all facets of the nation collectively join forces to promote fear. Perhaps by purchasing frightening costumes, decorating doorsteps, and buying candies with ghosts and goblins on the outside. But do we celebrate Halloween all year round in our relationships?

As men and women grow older and find themselves still alone, the fear of being alone becomes greater as well. Many adults have natural relationship fears. I have a slight fear of commitment. Some people have a fear of saying I love you too soon. Others have a fear of ending up with someone who doesn’t know who Mr. Belding is because they weren’t born in that era. All are equally substantial fears.

But how do we as mature adults learn to fight off the boogeymans of relationships? There isn’t a zinc drop cure-all that we can take to relieve the doubt. Its not like you can order a partner up on the telephone and hope that the relationship works out.

I’m reading a book called A Lady In Waiting. It’s about establishing your love relationships, but mainly just one – with God Himself. The book tells us as single Christian women to embrace out singleness. Embrace the fact that we have no one to share our life with?? Talk about frightening!

But I think the author is onto something. We have this overwhelming fear that we are never going to find someone. But if you think about it, what’s scarier than having your single days fly by without even a ho-hum here and there? Is it not scary to just live the single days out wanting and wishing to find someone, but not realizing the gift we have?

We have the world at our fingertips. We can travel, we can cook for one, we can go to McDonalds at 9 PM just for kicks and not feel bad. We have been given these days to spend time with God and get to know ourselves.

Perhaps we’re not meant to find anyone, but that’s not scary. There are far scarier things out there – I mean, come on…have you seen the oompa loopmas from the Avalon?? So this Halloween, I’m embracing my singleness in style. After all, Halloween is only one day of the year…

Onto the third course!...?

A man and woman were out on a date. They went to an expensive french restuarant. When the waiter asks what they will be having for dinner, the woman asks for the lobster and the man asks for the creme brulet. "But sweetie, we haven't even had the main course yet." "Who wants to eat the main course when you can go straight for the desert?" The woman had a baffled look on her face, and sat confused the rest of the night. What she should have done was get up and stormed off in an angry rage.

My partner in crime Meredith created a theory comparing relationships to eating. In this theory, she claims that men enjoy desert first - skipping the main course all together. The main course is equivalent to 'real' women. Women who know who they are, and have substance to them. Women who aren't full of crap. The deserts are the women who create drama and are filled with nothing good for you. They are the sweets and you can have them for a second and they satifsy a craving, but leave you wanting more.

Why do men do this? The world is filled with 140 million men. How many do you suppose like desert? i would venture to say that at least a good 3/5 of men would rather have a meaningless relationship that lasts a day (or night) than a meaningful relationship that makes you feel full. Why is this? We know the consequences of the desert, yet we choose to eat it first.

Maybe the thought of eating the main course scares us. maybe the idea of only eating meat and potatoes for the rest of our lives is scarier than the consequences of eating the desert. Although it may seem like you would be dealing with the same course over and over and over again, who's to say that when you find the right one, you can't add some spice to the potatoes, or make bread pudding - a combination of the two meals?

And when you order the desert first, it ruins the meal all together. I mean, you eat cake first, you can't finish your meal later. Then you miss out on grandma's famous homemade mashed poatoes. You'll never know what it was like, you'll only have the after taste of a tiramisu ingrained in your mind. If you date in small only self-satisfying relationships for a long period of time, you can't seem to get the hang of the real full-blown relationship.

What happens when you go in with the intent eating the main course, but you end up sneaking a peek at the desert. You combine flavors and the main course starts to taste sweet and nasty at the same time. On the flipside, if you eat the desert first, and then try the main course, your desert now tastes like au jus sauce! What is proved here is that you can't double dip, its one or the other, real women, or fake women.

Does it happen the other way around, or are we forever stuck in our food groups? Can men eat the main course? Are they man enough to eat the whole steak? i would hope so, because most women, can handle a steak any day.

All Aboard the Soul Train!

In a world of 6 billion people, a nation of 290 thousand, is there one perfect person out there for you? Are soul mates the real deal or myth? There are the hopeless romantics that would say yes, and then the die hard realists who would say, no. What do you think?

Recently i was asked if i believed in the idea of having a soul mate - that one perfect person out there in the great cosmic divide that will someday show up on our door step. Now, by that definition, it sounds like i don't believe, but are there really signs of a someone out there?

Let's say that there is a such thing as a soul mate. What would be the purpose or the significance? Would they just match the soul of the other, or would they need to complete the better half of the person? So many questions raised, not enough answers.

Now let's say there is no such thing as a soul mate. How do we met the people we do? Perhaps we're all compatible, yet the ones that can handle each other the longest are the ones that stay together. Isn't that sort of a sad thought to think that everyone could or might end up with each other, but some don't, and just really don't like each other.

Is it safe to say that God is preparing someone for us? Or is it safer to say that he isn't preparing anyone at all? That way you protect yourself from getting hurt. Or do we ultimately not attach ourselves to anything or belief for fear of getting hurt? And why is getting hurt so bad in people's eyes? I myself am guilty. I have committment issues. But what's so wrong with getting hurt. You learn...you know better...you set standards...you move on. But how and when do we move on?

Now i know that this whole conversation is panning out more questions than answers, but someone told me that sometimes, questions are better than answers. They get the mind moving. So until i get some answers, i'm leaving withmy questions and using my faith to get by.

Fudge-cicles!

Do you ever wonder what people think your past is? Like when you walk down the street and see someone just standing at the corner of a hot dog store, do you think to yourself...the guy must have been in FFA. Because apparently only people in FFA get hot dogs at hot dog stores? No, no one really knows.

So, why do we create these pasts and backgrounds to the people we don't even know? It is to maybe make our past less of something it really is? Do we create this mystery in others to enhance the normalcy in ourselves?

The other day i was talking to a friend and creating stories for the people that walked by. He claimed that one of them was dpressed. that he was a test tube baby that never saw the light of day after he was out. We derived this decision based on the fact that he was pacing.

This can also work in the way of displaying your faith. do people know that i'm Christian just by looking at me? Could they take a guess that i'm not a party girl? Most likely they can tell that i don't party, but it makes me wonder if people ever make up the scenario that i'm a christian that is quiet but loves the lord?

Who knows, its just interesting to think about. I know this isn't very article-esque, but i have no topics to write about, so there. Hope you have a good week!

Short and Sweet

No, i'm not describing myself in the title, just describing the post. Here's my question of the week: Why is the inernet so appealing? Seriously, let's take a BIG look on an example. The Facebook. Do people have an addiction? All sources point to YES.

UW-Platteville has recently got their hands on a website media called The Facebook. What is it? A way to stalk each other in a more subtle way. How you ask? This online directory allows one to look up anything about a person that person is willing to admit. Let's use an example. If i were to look up a girl name kimberly, here's what we get. A page with about 3 choices of Kimberlys would pop up. Which one to choose, lets go with the one with a question mark for a picture (just for fun). We come up to a screen that has information on Kimberly. things like where she's from, what she's majoring in, what kind of musi she listens to, her political views. This particualr girl is a liberal that likes to party and has no specific music taste.

You may be asking, what's the matter with that? Well, first of all, the first thing you judge that person on is how they look. If they are cute or just plan ugly. if they are ugly, no need to waste your time. Next, if you are added as a friend, does that mean your a friend for life? Or just to get as many people on your list as you can (which is apparently called "whoring out")? Next, you judge things souly on the fact that they like pink floyd or like country, or they put God as their interest, or they are an art major.

My biggest problem with this is, what ever happened to good old fashioned questions? You meet someone in your class, you start talking, you ask what they are majoring in, perhaps you escalate to the level of where are you from. This is the old fashioned way of meeting people! what ever happened to that? Then the question is raised, is this God's way of introducing people? Or is it something satan contribed so that we become even lasier than we already are?

I'll admit, i'm on the facebook. I could have rebelled and not gone on it, not written anything in my profile, or not put a picture up. so i succame to all the pressure of the technology. I'm ashamed to say that i'm meeting people through it too. I think the difference is, i think its dumb, and funny that people have started to use it as a crutch. I laugh at the stupidity of southwest wisconsinites. i mean seriously, the facebook is so two years ago.

When Harry met Bri...

"Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount." Oh Billy Crystal, you zainy character, you. This is a quote from the beloved movie When Harry Met Sally. Most men would descirbe this as a mojor chick flick. Which, i'd have to agree is. But in the movie, Harry proposes an interesting theory. Men and women can't be friends. Is this true? Are men and women destined to be frenemies for the rest of their existence?

Now, i would never base anything on something that Billy Crystal said, but his thinking is that sex gets in the way. Not necessarily the act of sex, but the thought of sex, the lust, the idea of something more than plutonic. So before i formed a decision about this, i had to ask myself, have i had any relationships where i have been completely friend oriented? I haven't found an answer to that yet. Does this include the men that i don't find attractive? Because even in that situation, you think about the sex factor and decide whether or not you can be friends. Most times in this situation, you can be friends, and that's what you end up doing.

Then we have to think about, even if WE are not thinking about lust and sex, the other half could be thinking about it. the Kinsey Institute has done a study on men and women. They found that 54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month. And similarly, 19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 14% less than once a month. So even if you aren't thinking about it, the other person might be and ultimately ruins the relationship.

What does all this boil down to? It seems that our society is a sexual society, and God made us sexual beings. Does this mean that inter-gender relationships are doomed? Not necessarily. My thinking is, yes, you can think about your guy friend for a second about whether or not you find him attractive. If you don't, and still want to be friends, well then, you've done it. However, if you do think your leading male friend is attractive then the friendship may perhaps be ruined. I think in my book, the jury might still be out, i'm not sure if this theory is true, but i do know, that I have guy friends...So that's good news.