When i was younger and first learning how to ride my bike, i was scared. It might have been the most scared i have ever been in my life, without ever knowing it. I can remember the day clearly. It was cloudy and the parking lot to the armory behind my house was empty. It was warm, but not hot. My dad took me out to learn on our little yellow and black bike. It was the same bike that my brother and sister learned on, so i knew it worked. This was the first time that i was going to ride without the training wheels. We started out at the top of the hill. It was either downhill or up hill. Downhill seemed the best way to actually get moving (which is true most of the time in life, you have to go down before you go up). So my dad is hanging onto my seat and i, being five and scared for my life, am begging him to not let go, sobbing and trying to wipe the tears away so if by chance he does let go, i'll be able to see. We start moving, my dad moving right along side of me, I'm peddling and then it comes -- He lets go. I can feel the warm breeze through my pig tails and overalls and i finally feel it. The feeling of flying into the unknown, scared as all get out, but trying so hard to make it, make it to the end of the hill so i can place my feet on the ground and say that i did it.
But like most little kids who are just learning, about half the way down, i fell. The bike tipped and pulled me down with it. I landed on my knee and elbow trying to catch myself before the inevitable fall. Not a surprise to my dad, someone who has already taken the fall and gotten back up. The thing i remember the most was feeling defeated. Feeling numb to the fact that i was never going to learn how to ride a bike because i had fallen. Fallen hard.
Life is funny like that. God has a sense of humor, in that everything you do is preparing you and easing you into the next thing. What if i would have made it all the way down that hill the first time i tried? I wouldnt have learned to get back up again, i would have felt invincible. Lately it seems like i find a good thing or something good happens and then two more bad things come into play, or the good gets taken away. I do not doubt for a minute that God is the best teacher ever, but his lessons are hard. I meet someone, God replies saying, "He is a good man, but now's not the time." I catch a break in schoolwork and classes, God replies, "Trust in me and then feel safe, but until then i need you to keep trusting and working in me."
How do we get through these times...these falls? We get back up, simple as that. Trust that the reason you fell is even more important than how. God will explain later..."This is the right guy, but i need you to be patient and see that i have saved him for you, and you need to be friends and hang on," "This schooling will provide for you when you're done putting in your time, but now i need you to keep your head above water and keep swimming until you can touch."
The inevitable fall brings about the inevitable getting up. We just have to trust that when He lets go, you will make it...
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
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