When Harry met Bri...

"Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount." Oh Billy Crystal, you zainy character, you. This is a quote from the beloved movie When Harry Met Sally. Most men would descirbe this as a mojor chick flick. Which, i'd have to agree is. But in the movie, Harry proposes an interesting theory. Men and women can't be friends. Is this true? Are men and women destined to be frenemies for the rest of their existence?

Now, i would never base anything on something that Billy Crystal said, but his thinking is that sex gets in the way. Not necessarily the act of sex, but the thought of sex, the lust, the idea of something more than plutonic. So before i formed a decision about this, i had to ask myself, have i had any relationships where i have been completely friend oriented? I haven't found an answer to that yet. Does this include the men that i don't find attractive? Because even in that situation, you think about the sex factor and decide whether or not you can be friends. Most times in this situation, you can be friends, and that's what you end up doing.

Then we have to think about, even if WE are not thinking about lust and sex, the other half could be thinking about it. the Kinsey Institute has done a study on men and women. They found that 54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month. And similarly, 19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 14% less than once a month. So even if you aren't thinking about it, the other person might be and ultimately ruins the relationship.

What does all this boil down to? It seems that our society is a sexual society, and God made us sexual beings. Does this mean that inter-gender relationships are doomed? Not necessarily. My thinking is, yes, you can think about your guy friend for a second about whether or not you find him attractive. If you don't, and still want to be friends, well then, you've done it. However, if you do think your leading male friend is attractive then the friendship may perhaps be ruined. I think in my book, the jury might still be out, i'm not sure if this theory is true, but i do know, that I have guy friends...So that's good news.