Wednesday, January 08, 2014

If Only I Could Kick Straight

Last football season, the entire state of Wisconsin was uber critical of Mason Crosby (the kicker for the Packers). He missed SO MANY field goals - he only made 21 of 33 attempted. I think I even made comments like, "Its his only job!" It is his job to kick a small oblong shaped ball through a goal post eighteen and a half feet apart, sometimes from as far as 40 yards away. To be clear, that is 120 feet. His goal each time is to make it through those uprights by kicking the ball straight enough to add points to the team and keep his well-paying job.

This new year, I thought it would be nice to make goals for our family and myself to work towards. Of course we always make plans and then God has his own. I divided the goals into categories for myself, our kids, and our family.

I was thinking IF ONLY, if only I could reach 64% of my goals like Mr. Crosby. Each year I think about these things that I want to accomplish, but I would say by February I actually forget about most of them. So why do I spend the time to think about them, write them down, and then tell you about them? Its to keep myself accountable. I might actually remember this momentous start to the year if I made it my job. Perhaps not my only job - I'm fairly certain kicking fieldgoals wasn't Mr. Crosby's only job either. However, if I REALLY wanted to reach these goals, I might have a fighting chance if I put myself out there for all to see.

I won't go into all the details of our kids goals and family goals (I feel like that's for our little pack to know), but I want to share my own so that I can practice these.

1. Lose weight. Of course this is one, but baby weight isn't melting off this time like it did with Jonah, and its hard to shake it (literally) that I want it gone.

2. Finish 4 books. For some of you, you might be thinking, "Psh, that's ALL???" Well to you I say: two kids, husband, part-time job, sanity. Think it over....

3. Spend less. I'm considering what other options I have out there for work beyond teaching (stay at home momma, tutoring, school, who knows!), and I want to start working on spending less and saving more.

That's it. I should be able to accomplish parts of all of these. 64% of all of these, perhaps. 

So here's to kicking straight! Happy New Year.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Two is Company

We were blessed this summer with our beautiful little lady Zoey. I can't imagine any little girl sweeter than her (yes, that means all you other ladies and your daughters got nothing on my little Z-bot)! She is gentle, kind, patient, happy, joyful, and smart as an eight week old can be.

Our little pink miracle joined our family in July and has disrupted our normal. Wait, what's that you say? You just went on to brag about how awesome she is, and now she's a disruption? And to that I say, YUP. We had this whole parenting thing figured out (please sense the sarcasm). He listens to what we say, we feed him good things, he plays and watches minimal tv, he LOVES being outside, he's funny and kind, and we could go on about our little Jonah. We were livin' the dream of parenthood. Enter a crying infant who needs Mommy's attention 24/7. On stage left, enter a tantrum throwing, whining two year old who lost all attention he ever received to a crying infant. Normal is out the window.

At first it was a shock to the system - how do we do this?? How do other people do this and make it look so simple and possible? Then your little crying infant smiles at you and you melt. Your heart bursts into a million pieces surrounding this beautiful, amazing little creature that is yours. It makes every hurdle, every tantrum, every poopy diaper a joy because you now are a mom to TWO. You get to love, play and learn with your first in a new way. He is a big borther and you get to nurture him to be the best one. We play cars when we have moments, and we laugh and love it. Its not as much time, but its a natural time to spend with each other now - I see the design. Now, you get to experience all the first with another little baby - first tummy time turn overs, first teeth, first steps, first words! And boy does she adore her big brother. He can make her smile in an instant - which you wouldn't be able to see without TWO.

So our disruption is a beautiful mess. But its just that - BEAUTIFUL. Normal is such a flexible thing now that I'm not even sure what to call our new 'normal.' Perhaps I'll call it chaos. Perhaps I'll call it bliss. For now, two is company, and I love it.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Where Go?

I ADORE Jonah's little voice. He is just learning how to form sentences and put words together to ask questions. One of his favorites (and mine too) is, "Where go?" Recently, I've been asking this question as well. Not in the sense Jonah is - he implies, "Where did he go?" My version is more along the lines of, "Where do we go?"

Where do we go from here? I've never really been one to say that I was going to be a teacher my whole life. I also did not really have an idea of an alternative for this. I mean, I always assumed I would stay home with my kids when the time came and then magically go back into teaching when they were school-aged. What I'm finding lately is that things don't always go according to plan (even if it is a faint plan that was just the way you thought it would naturally be).

So now that things are different, "Where go?" The path isn't showing up any too quickly. So decisions are going to have to start being made. So what will happen? Discernment of your future is no easy thing. We have good friends that knew from the moment they met one another that they were going to be missionaries. This was their dream. I admire them (and am even somewhat jealous of them). Don't get me wrong, I don't believe this is my calling to be a missionary, but they KNEW. They just knew. It is a challenging road for them, but it is one that was marked out more clearly than mine, or so it would seem.

I've sought out the advice of many who I hold dear. Should I stay home and do the necessary daycare to help our family, or do I continue to teach and take on one more class? The advice has been, "Do what's best for your family," "Pray about it and you will know," etc. The difference is that the vibe or the undertones of many of the conversations are mixed. The women I care deeply about have strongly indicated that staying home, no matter what, is the only option. "God will provide, He always does." In which I agree whole heartedly. But did God provide me with a job? Or will God provide other children to watch if I stay home? With this group, I almost feel an immediate judgment. Why wouldn't you stay home? Its what's best for your kids. And then I feel guilty and like a horrible mommy.

So... Where go? Right now, I will continue to do my best to listen and wait for the path that is being laid in front of me.

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Get out of gear?

We have an awesome new superintendent this year and he created a theme for the year - Gears. There were four things that made the gears work. Essentially if you are being an effective educator your gear is grinding a steady pace and your students are excelling along with that. I feel like my school gear is going well, but the gears in my mind is spinning out of control!

We are expecting baby #2 in July. This has brought up many thoughts, excitements, fears, etc. in my mind but mostly since finding out about this joyous news - my mind has not stopped!

Maybe my four big things for life gears is my relationship with God, my family, my friends and my job.

My relationship with God has been MUCH stronger this past year into now than years past. I've enjoyed reading much more and I think its because its reading with a purpose. I am reading books about parenting and about kids that brings some sort of direction for my questions and prayers for God. I think before I thought it was too difficult to just pick something because we didn't have kids and a lot of the books people recommended were good for when you have kids. Well... they weren't lying and I'm loving it. So I feel like that gear is moving well.

My family is awesome!! We are going to soon be a family of four and up until we found out, I was terrified to have more than just Jonah. I love him SO VERY MUCH that I wasn't sure how it would work to have another one. Well, my love has already grown and so has Jonah, so there is reason to have more because your kids change and so do you (all for the better). Jonah is an amazing little boy, but he certainly keeps me on my toes too! This is one gear that is about to take off because I am always thinking about my decisions and my actions before, during and after I do ANYTHING with him. Was that the right thing to do? How is this going to work? I don't think that was the right consequence for his actions. I guess that's one of the many THOUSANDS of reasons parents are tired all the time. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who is experiencing this right along with me so that when neither of us are sure... we have someone to talk to about it and figure it out. My cup runs over with my family.

Friends. Who has em? Not this girl. I have tried so hard to make friends around Reedsburg. I did make a close friend, but things got weird and now she's moving away. I know people grow and change, but have I changed so much that I no longer know how to make friends? I also met another woman not to long ago, and I fear I came on too strong. I'm younger and I feel like I want her and I to be so good of friends that I pushed too hard. Everyone always told me that when you have kids you meet people. Where??? Now my mom tries to reassure me that when Jonah is in school I will meet people. Yeah... okay... Lately I just want to move away thinking that there are more people out there that are wanting friends too, maybe if I just move to that city it will happen. But I know in my heart the same things will happen. Guess I better wait until Jonah's in school. Goodness, this gear is out of control.

Finally my job, as of late is the most ambiguous, anxiety-wielding thing of them all. What should I do next year?? I am currently 50%, but this amount won't sustain us financially when we have two kids. The problem is I absolutely LOVE the balance of school and family. So do I ask for one more class? Do I take the leap and stay home? It is my decision (according to Simeon), but I can tell it stresses him out too. Can I be away from Jonah and VZ #2 for another year?? Can I actually leave a job I love? Worst gear of them all right now.

So with all these crazy thoughts and questions spinning around - what would you do? I am just waiting on God to show me. He's better at decisions. If he doesn't physically show me, then I'll do my best to make that decision. In the mean time.... I am just tired, and so are my gears.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Curious Curiosity

I've been watching Jonah and his curiosity the last week or so. He is so interested in everything. Sometimes it is a toy. Sometimes it is a cat walking across the dining room floor. Sometimes it is the construction area in the back of our house. His curiosity takes him ALL OVER. The places where the safety is question I've been trying to teach him "no" or "icky" when he reaches for things that are not good. His curiosity spikes and he tests my authority. What will mommy do if I reach ONE more time. What will she do if I get close to it, but not touch it.

So I've been thinking... where has my curiosity taken me over the years? Have I had safe curiosity or have I been careless and risked things in order to just know? Curiosity is not a bad, thing, but there are times when it is not a good thing (especially for cats).

As I go on teaching Jonah things, I am going to try to keep in mind his curious curiosity. He is only exploring and it is my job to teach him that some things are dangerous and it is also my job to help him stay curious and explore things that are good for him. Isn't curiosity curious? :)

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Sturggle

Today I spelled the word "struggle" as "sturggle" and it made me think of what this word means - clearly I even struggle with spelling! But really, what does it mean?

I like to have pity parties for myself every once and a while. If you ask Simeon, he would correct me and say, "all the time." I really feel like I struggle with many areas of my life - my faith and consistency in it, my wife-dom and its DAILY duties, my ability to do some tough love so that Jonah knows what the word no means, my weight and how I feel about my body, my friendships and how strong I think they are... Do I need to keep going, because I can!

EVERYONE struggles with something. The song "Someone worth Dying For" comes to mind. "You might be the wife, waiting up at night. You might be the man, struggling to provide. Feeling like its hopeless." Which somedays I do feel like its hopeless. Why do we feel hopeless?

So I looked it up. Struggle: Make forceful or violent efforts to get free of restraint or constriction. Wow. Yes. We are fighting against the evil of the world and the impressions it puts upon us. "You need to have it all together." "You need to have enough money for nice things." "You need to be the center of a friendship circle." We are making a FORCEFUL effort to break free from the constraints of the world. Of course we feel hopeless - its a HUGE task.

So, even though we feel hopeless, we certainly are NOT hopeless. We should be hopeful. We are "someone worth dying for" and that speaks VOLUMES. WE are important. WE are special. WE are doing a good job. WE are loved.

So next time you feel like your struggling, maybe you should "sturggle" and break free from the "struggles" of you fight. Win one for Him - become hopeful.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

For the love of...

School started. Hence the reason I do not blog as much any more. It is hard for me to explain how busy and crazy life is with a kid, a husband, and a job away from home. Imagine, you are making supper and every beeper is going off - the microwave is done, the pot on the stove is overflowing, the dish in the oven is done and the timer keeps beeping, and beeping, and BEEPING! Where do you even begin?

On one hand, I feel the most productive I have ever been. I eat lunch, pump breast milk, grade papers and reply to emails all at the same time. Super woman, you say? Yes. The productivity stops as soon as I get home from school. That's when time slows down and I get a moment or several hours with my baby and my husband. Is my house clean? No. (not in any sense of the word "clean") Do we always eat dinner before Jonah has gone to bed? No. Do I care? No. My life and time with my family is my priority.

So why do I do all this? Why do I pump, make my lunch, take a shower, do laundry and do some dishes before I go to bed EACH NIGHT?

For the love of...

Jonah
Simeon
God

In no particular order. I do it for them. I might be going crazy, but I wouldn't want it any other way. The investment now will make payments in FULL later. That's why you have kids when you're young, people!

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Two for Tuesday

1. Here's a quote for you today. It is in honor of Jonah eating his awesome solid food.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food. ~ Robert Orben

2. The next quote is logical to me and so I say bring on the kiddos - but not right now :)

My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time. ~ Karen Brown

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Two for Tuesday

1. Note to self: do not compare your knowledge of babies to those with multiple kiddos. You will just feel like the dumbest person there could ever be. Do I know what I'm doing? NO. Will I figure it out just like they did? YES. Thank you for listening self.

2. Next week = August. This cannot be. I will be leaving my kiddo every day to go "mold the minds of youth" every day. More like pull my hair out trying to pass on the idea of subtracting to high schoolers that cannot even add without a graphing calculator. I am NOT ready to go to school. I am ready to spend one more AWESOME month with Jonah :)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Our morning yoga pose. Just kidding... he's in mid-rollover!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thoughtful Thursday: Feeling Full

Family is the most fulfilling thing to me. A sweet kiss from my husband. A big hug from my baby boy. A word of encouragement from my parents. I could go on. They bring me SUCH joy!!

With that said, lately I've been examining my friendships beyond my family. The people on a daily basis that I fellowship with and build community with in this life. I think about how much I absolutely LOVE my family and how with friendships I desire to feel that full. That sense of belonging no matter what. When I do this, I find that some of my friendships I have now do not always feel this way. We moved to Reedsburg following God and waiting for Him to show us what he wants us to do. We desire meet a group of people that want to share God with one another and others with fun and a sense of adventure and urgency.

Lately I feel like I'm searching for this connection with other women here in Reedsburg. My mom always said that I'd find it when I had children. Well, I have a kid and I haven't found it. Now they say that its when my kids are in school. Okay. I'll be ready then. I'm not sure if its because I'm not from the area, and I haven't found others not from the area, but I feel left out of this infamous loop of women that have magically found an amazing connection. Is it me? Should I be doing or saying something else?

I know its just not God's time yet. There is a beautiful song out right now that helps me to refocus and wait for God's lead just like he did with meeting my husband, with giving us a beautiful little baby, with coming to Reedsburg. The song says,

"What if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?"

God's mercies are new every morning and I wait each day to find out how God will lead me that day. God had big things in store for me. That's why He gave me family to encourage me, love me and help me along my path. That is why I feel full right now and every day. Thank you Lord.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Monday Funday!

Two Illinois tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they approached Oconomowoc they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. This went on until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist said to the cute blonde behind the counter "Can you settle an argument for us? Would you pronounce where we are, very slowly?"

The blonde leaned forward and said "Burrrr-gerrrr Kiiiing".

Happy laughing :)

Friday, July 08, 2011

Five-a-Day Friday

Top Five Places I LOVE to Shop for Clothes (for me or my family):

5. Carters
4. Kohls
3. Target
2. Gap
1. Old Navy

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Finally... the right day :)


Do you ever feel like this? On the edge just too scared to step out? True definition of a scaredy cat.

Two for Tuesday

1. Why are certain words more difficult to type on a keyboard than others? I think they are different for each person. The word "quadratic" is very difficult for me to type. Maybe not a word most of you type often... but as a math teacher, I use it often. Are my fingers just slow to those keys? What is YOUR word that is hard to type??

2. Blogs vs prayer. When you type out a blog its like a prayer in that it sends your thoughts and questions out into the open. You can release some tension or hidden fears when typing away for others (or nobody) to read. So why do we do it? Prayer is much more effective. We also send out our thoughts and fears into the open for God to take and do something with. So my new goal: every time I blog - I pray first.

Monday Funday

Oops. I know its Wednesday, but it was a holiday! So here's my joke, and its actually happened to me!

Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Thoughtful Thursday

Someone once asked me what my favorite thing is about being a mom. Where do I start?? The smiles. The cuddling. The comforting. The new experiences. The BIG eyes. The funny noises. The giggles. Everything about Jonah is what I LOVE about being a mom.

Maybe the better question is what will I love best about being a mom? As in, I maybe it hasn’t happened yet. 3 John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” My sister told me the story of how at Easter time her eldest daughter Ella prayed with Katy and asked Jesus to live in her heart. She got to help lead her daughter to start a relationship with Jesus. I cry every time I think about this story because I cannot wait to help lead my children to start the greatest journey with Christ.

Every day with Jonah is the reason I love being a mommy. I just can’t wait to see Jonah walking in the truth. It will bring me greater joy than I have ever experienced.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Two for you today. Enjoy!


There is a little doggie on his jumper saucer, and he is sometimes afraid of it. Its funny...


Jonah likes to go on runs with mommy :)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Two for Tuesday

As promised:

1. Why is HGTV so addicting? Simeon absolutely hates it. To me, it is the only reason to have cable TV. When Jonah goes to bed and its a TV night, what to watch? HGTV. Why did we get cable....?

2. Parenting is not easy. I'm amazed that my sister turned out alright. I mean, she is the oldest, and the first of the kiddos. My parents had NO IDEA what they were doing when they had her. But she's awesome. So... it can't be that hard, right? I guess its a lot of communication with the spouse, on the spot thinking and PRAYER! Goodness... Jonah's gonna have some FUN stories to tell when he's older :)

Monday, June 27, 2011

Monday Funday!

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high.

Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes.

The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad story.They then started up the steps

After 2 hours it was Harry's turn. He turned to the other two and said "Ok guys, here's my sad story. I forgot the keys downstairs.