Where Go?

I ADORE Jonah's little voice. He is just learning how to form sentences and put words together to ask questions. One of his favorites (and mine too) is, "Where go?" Recently, I've been asking this question as well. Not in the sense Jonah is - he implies, "Where did he go?" My version is more along the lines of, "Where do we go?"

Where do we go from here? I've never really been one to say that I was going to be a teacher my whole life. I also did not really have an idea of an alternative for this. I mean, I always assumed I would stay home with my kids when the time came and then magically go back into teaching when they were school-aged. What I'm finding lately is that things don't always go according to plan (even if it is a faint plan that was just the way you thought it would naturally be).

So now that things are different, "Where go?" The path isn't showing up any too quickly. So decisions are going to have to start being made. So what will happen? Discernment of your future is no easy thing. We have good friends that knew from the moment they met one another that they were going to be missionaries. This was their dream. I admire them (and am even somewhat jealous of them). Don't get me wrong, I don't believe this is my calling to be a missionary, but they KNEW. They just knew. It is a challenging road for them, but it is one that was marked out more clearly than mine, or so it would seem.

I've sought out the advice of many who I hold dear. Should I stay home and do the necessary daycare to help our family, or do I continue to teach and take on one more class? The advice has been, "Do what's best for your family," "Pray about it and you will know," etc. The difference is that the vibe or the undertones of many of the conversations are mixed. The women I care deeply about have strongly indicated that staying home, no matter what, is the only option. "God will provide, He always does." In which I agree whole heartedly. But did God provide me with a job? Or will God provide other children to watch if I stay home? With this group, I almost feel an immediate judgment. Why wouldn't you stay home? Its what's best for your kids. And then I feel guilty and like a horrible mommy.

So... Where go? Right now, I will continue to do my best to listen and wait for the path that is being laid in front of me.