Lame-o

So we went out to the fireworks with friends this weekend and I kind of felt like a lame-o. We sat outside ALL day in the hot sun, and so I wanted to go for a walk to the shade. I REALLY needed to get some shade. They all walked to get some ice cream, and if we hadn't seen them, we wouldn't have gone with. Sign of being lame already? maybe...

Then we we got back from ice cream, they wanted to go to the fair part of it - more time in the hot sun, and I wanted to just sit in the shade for a few more minutes. So they all went and Simeon stayed with me. We created a little tent to sit under and chill a little bit. When they came back I felt like they didn't talk to us as much and were kind of put off by it.

Here's the real truth - I'm paranoid about it, I know. BUT - I really felt like all day they thought we (and poor Simeon stayed with me) were super boring. There were REASONS I didn't want to be in the sun, and there were REASONS I was so tired, but these are things they just can't know right now. Grrr.

Anyway, this post is a true frustration about my own insecurities and I wish I could just explain myself to everyone. Really what I fear is that I am really a lame-o. Perhaps I am... I guess no one will ever tell me, so I will just keep on thinking I'm alright with a side doubt of lame-wad-ness always with me.

Grr.