Some People Have All the Luck

Why is it, in a world of 6 billion people, do we as individuals, meet the people we do? Is it by luck? By chance? By mere coincidence? Or is it in a plan, somehow it will find its way of surfacing, and then we’ll know the Great Mystery. There are some things in life that we just have to accept, and not know why they happen.

Here’s my question. Why do some people luck out and have kids? Why do some people luck out and meet the person of their dreams? Why do some people get to have their dream job right after college?

Three ways of making this happen depends on the situation. The first way to make your luck change would be to go after it. The job situation is controllable. We can control our luck with jobs by pursuing them and making it happen. If each person had the deep desire and ambition they could get whatever job they want. I mean look at that kid name Barry, he went for math, but secretly wanted to be a Culver’s connoisseur for the rest of his life. Dreams can come true.

The other ways of making great switch of luck would be to wait. This love situation is the one of waiting (or so I’m told). I guess people who say this can be right. One of three things could happen when waiting for love. First, it could actually show up sometime within the decade. Second, you could eventually figure out that you really don’t need the love of another human being to survive. Third, you could just say its love after so many years because you’re so desperate for it. So go ahead wait…it will come.

The last way it could happen for you means spending lots of money. Its true, some people are physically incapable of having children. If I could give away my uterus to them, I would in an instant. But for some it’s not in the cards. There is a way to fix this. Money cures all. You could adopt or get fertilization hormones. The possibilities are endless!

So there you have it folks. Three blissful ways to getting what you want – tire yourself, wait until you die, and spend all the money you have. OR, you could just accept the cards you get and play the best euchre hand known to man. Its been done before.

Throwing in the Towel...

When is enough, enough? In relationships, when is it time to say au reviore? I was talking with someone the other day about relationships and how to know when its time to let it die a slow and painful death. Sometimes, it’s just not the right one; but how do we know?

What are the tell tale signs that a relationship is not meant to be? Can we, as individuals know exactly when a relationship is over? Of course there are some circumstances where you know it’s time. Abuse is not a relationship and one should swiftly exit the situation as soon as possible. If your relationship has turned into the spaceship from Armaggedon and has lost all contact with its mother ship, its time to look at what you’re willing to let loose (this is referring to loss of communication if you didn’t follow).

I’m not specifically talking about these kinds of relationships, I’m talking about the ones that have either started and were doomed from the start, but we as humans want that love and affection so we stick it out, or the relationships where its good for a while then its bad for a longer while.

I have had my fair share of doomed relationships, and by fair share, I mean two. In each of these situations there were big red flags screaming, get out! This is the last helicopter out of Vietnam! But yet, I stuck them out, and eventually got hurt in the end. Could I have prevented this by taking that heed and going with it? Or was it in the plan to royally mess up but be royally picked back up?

I think when we know, we know. I mean, when we know its time to stick it out, or leave, we know. Its hard to get through the bad times if it is a relationship that we stay with, but that’s what makes it stronger. Perhaps that’s the beauty of it, we’ll just know when we do – life is one big Sherlock Holmes novel waiting to be solved.

But here’s my situation, I feel like its cold outside and I’m standing in a puddle. One foot is dry and on its way to a good thing, but the other foot has now seen the bad side, and is cold and wants to quit all together. Here’s the kicker, all I have to do is remove my foot from the cold dirty water and start back in the good direction I was on – I just have to wait for it to dry a little and I’ll be fine.

So I guess in times of relationships, we have to stick it out gnome matter what. I mean, how else will we find out if our foot dries? And as the great south says…Click, Click, we don’t Quit!!

As if Halloween wasn't scary enough...

During the month of October people from all facets of the nation collectively join forces to promote fear. Perhaps by purchasing frightening costumes, decorating doorsteps, and buying candies with ghosts and goblins on the outside. But do we celebrate Halloween all year round in our relationships?

As men and women grow older and find themselves still alone, the fear of being alone becomes greater as well. Many adults have natural relationship fears. I have a slight fear of commitment. Some people have a fear of saying I love you too soon. Others have a fear of ending up with someone who doesn’t know who Mr. Belding is because they weren’t born in that era. All are equally substantial fears.

But how do we as mature adults learn to fight off the boogeymans of relationships? There isn’t a zinc drop cure-all that we can take to relieve the doubt. Its not like you can order a partner up on the telephone and hope that the relationship works out.

I’m reading a book called A Lady In Waiting. It’s about establishing your love relationships, but mainly just one – with God Himself. The book tells us as single Christian women to embrace out singleness. Embrace the fact that we have no one to share our life with?? Talk about frightening!

But I think the author is onto something. We have this overwhelming fear that we are never going to find someone. But if you think about it, what’s scarier than having your single days fly by without even a ho-hum here and there? Is it not scary to just live the single days out wanting and wishing to find someone, but not realizing the gift we have?

We have the world at our fingertips. We can travel, we can cook for one, we can go to McDonalds at 9 PM just for kicks and not feel bad. We have been given these days to spend time with God and get to know ourselves.

Perhaps we’re not meant to find anyone, but that’s not scary. There are far scarier things out there – I mean, come on…have you seen the oompa loopmas from the Avalon?? So this Halloween, I’m embracing my singleness in style. After all, Halloween is only one day of the year…

Onto the third course!...?

A man and woman were out on a date. They went to an expensive french restuarant. When the waiter asks what they will be having for dinner, the woman asks for the lobster and the man asks for the creme brulet. "But sweetie, we haven't even had the main course yet." "Who wants to eat the main course when you can go straight for the desert?" The woman had a baffled look on her face, and sat confused the rest of the night. What she should have done was get up and stormed off in an angry rage.

My partner in crime Meredith created a theory comparing relationships to eating. In this theory, she claims that men enjoy desert first - skipping the main course all together. The main course is equivalent to 'real' women. Women who know who they are, and have substance to them. Women who aren't full of crap. The deserts are the women who create drama and are filled with nothing good for you. They are the sweets and you can have them for a second and they satifsy a craving, but leave you wanting more.

Why do men do this? The world is filled with 140 million men. How many do you suppose like desert? i would venture to say that at least a good 3/5 of men would rather have a meaningless relationship that lasts a day (or night) than a meaningful relationship that makes you feel full. Why is this? We know the consequences of the desert, yet we choose to eat it first.

Maybe the thought of eating the main course scares us. maybe the idea of only eating meat and potatoes for the rest of our lives is scarier than the consequences of eating the desert. Although it may seem like you would be dealing with the same course over and over and over again, who's to say that when you find the right one, you can't add some spice to the potatoes, or make bread pudding - a combination of the two meals?

And when you order the desert first, it ruins the meal all together. I mean, you eat cake first, you can't finish your meal later. Then you miss out on grandma's famous homemade mashed poatoes. You'll never know what it was like, you'll only have the after taste of a tiramisu ingrained in your mind. If you date in small only self-satisfying relationships for a long period of time, you can't seem to get the hang of the real full-blown relationship.

What happens when you go in with the intent eating the main course, but you end up sneaking a peek at the desert. You combine flavors and the main course starts to taste sweet and nasty at the same time. On the flipside, if you eat the desert first, and then try the main course, your desert now tastes like au jus sauce! What is proved here is that you can't double dip, its one or the other, real women, or fake women.

Does it happen the other way around, or are we forever stuck in our food groups? Can men eat the main course? Are they man enough to eat the whole steak? i would hope so, because most women, can handle a steak any day.

All Aboard the Soul Train!

In a world of 6 billion people, a nation of 290 thousand, is there one perfect person out there for you? Are soul mates the real deal or myth? There are the hopeless romantics that would say yes, and then the die hard realists who would say, no. What do you think?

Recently i was asked if i believed in the idea of having a soul mate - that one perfect person out there in the great cosmic divide that will someday show up on our door step. Now, by that definition, it sounds like i don't believe, but are there really signs of a someone out there?

Let's say that there is a such thing as a soul mate. What would be the purpose or the significance? Would they just match the soul of the other, or would they need to complete the better half of the person? So many questions raised, not enough answers.

Now let's say there is no such thing as a soul mate. How do we met the people we do? Perhaps we're all compatible, yet the ones that can handle each other the longest are the ones that stay together. Isn't that sort of a sad thought to think that everyone could or might end up with each other, but some don't, and just really don't like each other.

Is it safe to say that God is preparing someone for us? Or is it safer to say that he isn't preparing anyone at all? That way you protect yourself from getting hurt. Or do we ultimately not attach ourselves to anything or belief for fear of getting hurt? And why is getting hurt so bad in people's eyes? I myself am guilty. I have committment issues. But what's so wrong with getting hurt. You learn...you know better...you set standards...you move on. But how and when do we move on?

Now i know that this whole conversation is panning out more questions than answers, but someone told me that sometimes, questions are better than answers. They get the mind moving. So until i get some answers, i'm leaving withmy questions and using my faith to get by.

Fudge-cicles!

Do you ever wonder what people think your past is? Like when you walk down the street and see someone just standing at the corner of a hot dog store, do you think to yourself...the guy must have been in FFA. Because apparently only people in FFA get hot dogs at hot dog stores? No, no one really knows.

So, why do we create these pasts and backgrounds to the people we don't even know? It is to maybe make our past less of something it really is? Do we create this mystery in others to enhance the normalcy in ourselves?

The other day i was talking to a friend and creating stories for the people that walked by. He claimed that one of them was dpressed. that he was a test tube baby that never saw the light of day after he was out. We derived this decision based on the fact that he was pacing.

This can also work in the way of displaying your faith. do people know that i'm Christian just by looking at me? Could they take a guess that i'm not a party girl? Most likely they can tell that i don't party, but it makes me wonder if people ever make up the scenario that i'm a christian that is quiet but loves the lord?

Who knows, its just interesting to think about. I know this isn't very article-esque, but i have no topics to write about, so there. Hope you have a good week!

Short and Sweet

No, i'm not describing myself in the title, just describing the post. Here's my question of the week: Why is the inernet so appealing? Seriously, let's take a BIG look on an example. The Facebook. Do people have an addiction? All sources point to YES.

UW-Platteville has recently got their hands on a website media called The Facebook. What is it? A way to stalk each other in a more subtle way. How you ask? This online directory allows one to look up anything about a person that person is willing to admit. Let's use an example. If i were to look up a girl name kimberly, here's what we get. A page with about 3 choices of Kimberlys would pop up. Which one to choose, lets go with the one with a question mark for a picture (just for fun). We come up to a screen that has information on Kimberly. things like where she's from, what she's majoring in, what kind of musi she listens to, her political views. This particualr girl is a liberal that likes to party and has no specific music taste.

You may be asking, what's the matter with that? Well, first of all, the first thing you judge that person on is how they look. If they are cute or just plan ugly. if they are ugly, no need to waste your time. Next, if you are added as a friend, does that mean your a friend for life? Or just to get as many people on your list as you can (which is apparently called "whoring out")? Next, you judge things souly on the fact that they like pink floyd or like country, or they put God as their interest, or they are an art major.

My biggest problem with this is, what ever happened to good old fashioned questions? You meet someone in your class, you start talking, you ask what they are majoring in, perhaps you escalate to the level of where are you from. This is the old fashioned way of meeting people! what ever happened to that? Then the question is raised, is this God's way of introducing people? Or is it something satan contribed so that we become even lasier than we already are?

I'll admit, i'm on the facebook. I could have rebelled and not gone on it, not written anything in my profile, or not put a picture up. so i succame to all the pressure of the technology. I'm ashamed to say that i'm meeting people through it too. I think the difference is, i think its dumb, and funny that people have started to use it as a crutch. I laugh at the stupidity of southwest wisconsinites. i mean seriously, the facebook is so two years ago.

When Harry met Bri...

"Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount." Oh Billy Crystal, you zainy character, you. This is a quote from the beloved movie When Harry Met Sally. Most men would descirbe this as a mojor chick flick. Which, i'd have to agree is. But in the movie, Harry proposes an interesting theory. Men and women can't be friends. Is this true? Are men and women destined to be frenemies for the rest of their existence?

Now, i would never base anything on something that Billy Crystal said, but his thinking is that sex gets in the way. Not necessarily the act of sex, but the thought of sex, the lust, the idea of something more than plutonic. So before i formed a decision about this, i had to ask myself, have i had any relationships where i have been completely friend oriented? I haven't found an answer to that yet. Does this include the men that i don't find attractive? Because even in that situation, you think about the sex factor and decide whether or not you can be friends. Most times in this situation, you can be friends, and that's what you end up doing.

Then we have to think about, even if WE are not thinking about lust and sex, the other half could be thinking about it. the Kinsey Institute has done a study on men and women. They found that 54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month. And similarly, 19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 14% less than once a month. So even if you aren't thinking about it, the other person might be and ultimately ruins the relationship.

What does all this boil down to? It seems that our society is a sexual society, and God made us sexual beings. Does this mean that inter-gender relationships are doomed? Not necessarily. My thinking is, yes, you can think about your guy friend for a second about whether or not you find him attractive. If you don't, and still want to be friends, well then, you've done it. However, if you do think your leading male friend is attractive then the friendship may perhaps be ruined. I think in my book, the jury might still be out, i'm not sure if this theory is true, but i do know, that I have guy friends...So that's good news.

Here's the plan:

So I've decided that I'm going to write this blog as a weekly column. I enjoy reading my brother's column in the fabulous Jordan Independant, so I've decided to take matters into my own hands and create a weekly column. I'll start out this week with a mind-boggling, question-raising topic.

There are approximately 147.8 females in the United States. 54% of these women are labeled as unmarried and single. What does this mean? The majority of those 54% have a set core of friends that they regularly spend time with, as to create some sort of company. The real question is, what percent of these women have female friends?

In my 20 some odd years of existence, I have battled my way through the lines to get to a decent female friend. I lucked out in the search because I have my sister as one of my best friends, and also, my best friend Jaime and my best friend Meredith. However, at this stage in my life I feel that to my chagrin, I am at a loss of women friends. Those near and dear are far from reach for the time being. So I'm on the prowl, back in the front line with guns a-blazzin'!

It has been brought to my attention that I am the type of girl that others hate. I can relate well to guys, I can talk with ease to the opposite gender. To me, its like riding a bike - nothing new to the concept of guys, just a different frame. Why is it easier to get along with guys than girls? Who knows, and frankly, I don't want to find out. But the reason for the topic is, that I would like to have a network of girl friends. I want to be "one of the girls." I want to wear nail polish and mascara with ease and not have a second thought about it.

how do we achieve that state? I was told to just do it, dive into the girlish abyss of skirts and pink shirts. This thought has been beating in my brain for the last few days at the idea of a "girls night." One such specimen came up to me and asked, "what do you think we should to at our girls night? Maybe we should just get all dolled up and go out to eat then come back and have girl time. Or maybe we should get some facial supplies and do each others make-up." Frankly it made me want to throw-up.

Maybe I'm not ready for this big of a commitment. I think for the time being I'll stick to my old ways of being punk and wearing grey. It matches everything and if it gets dirty, who will ever know? Is that a guy thing to say? Ah well, I like this side, its a clear view of both, and I know right where I am.

Ride 'Em Cowboy!

So, i rode a mechanical bull yesterday. it was pretty sweet. And i must say, if i were ever a cowboy, i'd rock your face off. Cause i'm the illest cowgirl there ever was.

Punt, Pass, and Date?

I've been thinking, can you "pass" on a relationship due to musical differences? Say a girl is really into country, and its the only thing she listens to, and then guy loves punk rock. If they met, and were perfect together, besides this one thing, is there reason to say, hey, you are an awful person because you listen to country, i can't date you?

Or can you "pass" on dating if they aren't really into movies, but you are? Are these things important enough to determine our fate? Or how do we determine what is so important in a match? Blonde/brunette, smoker/athlete, christian/mormon, burping/farting?

I'm over clemping....this is my topic to discuss....discuss amongst the blog....

I love my job.

I work at the PFAC. Also known as the Platteville Family Aquatic Center. I'm a lifeguard (second year). And well, the job consists of making sure people don't die and people watching. Which the later is my favorite aspect of the job. Not to mention the stellar tan. But here are a few reasons why I love working at the PFAC.

1. A group of boys the other day were pretending to dunk themselves by grabbing the back of their heads and forcing it under water. They would each blame each other for the dunking. Excect one boy. He was doing the dunking too, except he would shout out things like, "Mrs. Smith (one of the other's mother i'm assuming) stop banging me." "Help. Barbara Streisand is on my shoulders." "Its like Patch Adams, look beyond." Why? Who knows.

2. A woman lays in front of the pool doors and awaits its opening. Why stand when you can lay? She was wearing acid washed, high wasted, tapered jeans with a grey and pink faded sweatshirt that ran over the shoulders. She had a brownish/orange pair of sun glasses that took over her face, and a hat that had the bill as straight as an arrow. Instead of waiting for the pool to open so she can swim, this woman sets up camp next to the deep end to watch the diving boards. Why? Who knows.

3. The group homies grope the 12 and 13 year old girls and ask what PDA is. Then they move onto adjusting their tracking ankle braclets so they can do flips on the diving board. Why? Who knows.

These are just some reasons why the PFAC is the best place to work. Granted to some, they may seem like you'd want to leave that area immeditaly for fear of life, but no, its just the pool rats and their fun ways of being creepy. Ahhh, the PFAC.

Open mouth, and enter foot.

Open mouth, and enter foot.

Sometimes i put my foot in my mouth. maybe some of you have experienced this too, but when you know you're talking to someone that its kind of important that you're talking, you end up putting your foot in your mouth (figureatively). I mean, you can't find the right words to say, and you aren't allowing yourself to think because your emotions or something else gets in the way. Well, recently this has happened to me.

I came to the moment that i had thought about for a long time. this whole summer i've prayed to receive the words to say at this very moment, and prayed that when the moment comes God would speak to me and help me get out what i needed to say. However, when this moment came, i was numb, dumbfounded, and i'm sure i said the wrong things. I just wish i could take it back, write down what i really wanted to say, and then let the spirit work through me to help the other person understand.

So what does this say about the timing? Was the timing not right? Did I mince words because it wasn't in God's timing, it was on my own? Should i have said anything in the first place? Did i pray about it enough. I mean, i can't go back - what's said is said, and what's done is done, but i just wish i could explain myself more. Ah well....perhaps its for the best this time around. Perhaps we all need to put our feet in the our mouths just so someday we can know when not to.

C'est la vie.

I'm New!

This week was a stellar week! I had so many blessings it was great! i got my teeth fixed, which someday soon i will have a picture on of my new chompers, but also, i got a new computer! i got an apple ibook G4. yes, that means i'm better than you. Well, not really, but that's what my brother would say. :] But seriously folks, i got a brand spanking new computer, which means that you have to email me, write on my blog, and do a whole lot more, because i'm going to! Oh, that also means that i got a free, yes FREE, ipod mini, which is also extremely stellar. So, i'm now better than you for real.

Oh, also, we almost got to see Tiffany at the Mall of America. But it turns out that it was a fashion show instead of an 80's icon concert revistited. Darn.

Oh, and soon enough we'll get a deep blog...i'm not feeling too deep this summer, but soon enough i will. And thanks for having conversations on my blog. i enjoy reading them, and it seems i'm not the only blog that gets conversations, sam, john, evan, brandon and spots...what a family.

Let me hear it!

If anyone who reads this, AKA spot and Brandon and maybe Sam, i need ideas! Brandon smells like....?? I write a weekly column on our refridgerator that says Brandon smells like ( ). This week, its WOOT! So if you have any ideas, let me know!!

And for the man who has internet all the time, and decides to use it as his TV, i'm updating...happy?

dun, Dun, DUN!

Its coming!! The end is fast approaching! The end of my time at Winona, that is...its getting kind of sad. Please don't think that this is the very end though...i still want to talk to you if i do now, okay? Yeah, that means leave me contact info...cause i want to hear from you! Okay, enough of that...

SCHOOLS ALMOST OUT! WISCONSIN HERE I COME!!!!!!!

Sometimes...

Sometimes life isn't as you'd like it. Its hard to get by the fact that its not going to go your way all the time. Sometimes you'd rather just crawl into a small box, seal it up, and ship it out. That way, you'd be away from everything you're fed up with, and you'd most likely be passed out from lack of oxygen so you wouldn't have to think about all the stupid stuff.

But life doesn't like sealed boxes and neither do most people. You can't hide from the things that hurt you; you can't disappear from the things you're scared of; and you can't get angry at the things you don't have control over.

When those times come...the ones when all you want to do is scream off a big hill into an abyss, when you just want to run and never stop, when the only that keeps you from telling that perfect person the things you've been meaning to all along, is the fear of rejection...we have to remember -- we're just human, and things happen. Your voice will diminish, your legs will give out, and your fear will take over so you never say anything at all.

My advice...take it as it is...life sucks sometimes, but that's no reason to give into the sometimes and whenevers...give life your best, and that's all you can hope for in return.

Drunken Goose Syndrome

I was running the other morning, taking my usual route around the lakes and I spotted a goose walking down the water's edge. He seemed a little bit tipsy, and i found it really humorous. So i got to thinking about this goose and its intoxication. Why does a goose need to be drunk anyway? Here's some of my thoughts...

Geese feel the need to mate as all of God's creatures feel the need to in the spring of the year. Only this time around, he's feeling lonely. No female goose has caught his eye. Likewise, he, sadly, hasn't caught any female goose's eye. So how does a goose ease the pain?? How else...drink himself away! Then he takes the lonely walk down the water's edge to the smelly part of the lake...so no one sees his pain.

I think i have drunken goose syndrome. Walking the edge feeling lonely...scurring off to the undesired side as to hide my pain. Ah, spring...

True story!

Okay, so this is a true story:

My friend Dave and I were studying calc in the hallway, and this girl came up from the steps and totally wiped out by tripping on the carpet! I had to bite my cheek and talk in order to stop the laughter. Then to add to it, she walked the lonely walk of shame past us instead of saving her dignity and turning around to go a different way. Props to her for not caring i guess...but yeah, woooo, i love a good laugh!

Also, can i just say that i love spring!

Jaime...this ones to you..."let's never fight again, shant we?" (or something of that sorts)

Chocolate Covered Life

It seems like everything is chocolate covered in this life. Its never just the chocolate. Sometimes life feels like you're eating a chocolate covered raisin. You start to eat it, and then you start to chew it, and like the candy-coated outside, but as soon as you hit that raisin...BAM! Your face goes sour. The candy you once had is now spoiled and ruined.

Sometimes relationships seem like that, when it really should be the opposite...you love just hanging out, chewing on chocolate, but as soon as you hit a spot where you're bored, or its hard, or you are being tested and tried (hit the raisin), we just spit it out. Stop eating, and continue onto the next chocolate covered morsel. But who's to say that what's inside isn't so bad? Who's to say that things won't work out? Who decides whether you fight to keep it and stick it out, or give up as soon as you get bored. Life's not like that. When you meet someone and get past the chocolate, it takes work, but if its worth working on, then we have to strive to perservere, learn to appreciate that raisins are good for you!

But then again...maybe its for the best...maybe it would be hard on you...maybe it would take some work...and if you're not up to it then, well, i can't chew for the both of us.

<>< Bri