Pregnancy is a blessing - and don't let anyone tell you differently! To form a life inside you and feel the little person moving inside is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I will not ask to trade it for anything. Along side the joys and blessings resides this underlying pressure that comes with being pregnant. My question is... was it always like this?
To me there are two different pressures that come along with having a baby: Not gaining weight and what to do about working after the baby. These are not given pressures of pregnancy, but pressures that, believe it or not, come from other mothers.
Number one thing I've heard since being pregnant revolves around the amount of weight gained during pregnancy. Whether it is from other women who say, "that's the number one thing I'm worried about when I'm pregnant," or moms who have had babies that say either, "You know... you're only supposed to eat an extra 200 calories each day," or "I got up to 200 pounds and never lost the weight." The question is this: How is your little bundle of joy? Isn't it wonderful loving someone so much it hurts? What was the best thing about squeezing your little one for the first time?
I am not a skinny woman. I will never be a skinny woman. And it is my firm belief that pregnancy is about the gift that God has given you to become a MOMMY to someone else and teach this little creature to love and fear the Lord - NOT about how I look. As I sit here and write this I am crying about how awful other woman have made me feel. My time being pregnant has been taken up by worrying about what other woman perceive me to be. Fat? Probably. But what I want my time to be taken up with is the joy of knowing that I will have child to call my own after all the pregnancy part is said and done.
So what to make of this? Well, I'm over 8 months pregnant and I want to focus on the birth of my baby. I'm SO EXCITED to become a mommy. No one should take that away from me. So to all those women out there that have EVER said anything about weight during pregnancy: SHAME ON YOU. And you have troubled my thoughts with feelings of inadequacy. You ruin the experience and joy of caring a life inside you for other women out there and you are just down right SELFISH.
Whew. Its good to get that off my chest.
The second pressure that creeps up on women who are pregnant is the question of what to do about your job after you have your baby. I have been a teacher for 3 years now, and love it. There are days and sometimes even years that are not the easiest. But when you make a connection with a student and give them the confidence to try something and learn new things it is on of the best feelings in the world. I can only imagine the joy of feeling that over a lifetime of teaching your own child. The hard part is - what if financially you are not really capable of having one solitary income?
I've asked a few women in my life what to do when next year rolls around. The major female influences in my life say stay home. My friends (women in the same type of situation as me), are encouraging and let me know that if I have to work, God will bless my kiddo no matter what.
Maybe its only an issue because I am supposed to stay home and the world is pressuring me to work. I don't know. One thing I do know is that God is working in me to do the right thing for our family - and he knows what is best for EVERY family. It is somewhat hard to hear the critics, but God is ultimately the one who knows what to do, and will bless us if we follow him.
I don't write this to get sympathy. I don't write this to really point fingers or make an excuse for my thoughts. I write this to clear my head and really reveal to (probably no one) my fears and struggles. I hope that other women out there who are expecting are overjoyed at what is to come - minus all the pressures. I know I cannot wait until that little baby gets here!
