Lately, I’ve been feeling a little old… I’m not old. I’m a ripe age of twenty-one, but in the context of school and all that comes with it, I’m old. This is the start of my fourth year of college. Wow. It seems crazy to say, but it’s the truth!
When I was a freshman, I made the analogy of being thrown into a big pool and being told to just breathe and stay afloat. Well, I’ve passed the pool stage, and in a year, I’ll be thrown into the ocean… A much bigger and harder place to “just breathe.” It’s deeper, less protected, and much, much harder to stay afloat.
Granted, that’s in a few years, but something that is happening to me now, is the feeling of being disconnected. The new freshmen have come to school, they are everywhere, but I increasingly feel like I’m disconnected from the entire campus. I’m off it more, I’m in classes with only five people, I have a love of my life who I want to spend all my spare time with, and I’m old.
I was talking to one of my friends dad and he said that even though we’re moving on and leaving all the freedom and joys that we had before, we encounter new challenges and fun times – having home projects, creating a budget, buying substantial items because we have a salary, etc. I don’t know if those are joys, but they are something to look forward to!
Its just weird to be facing that point in my life – when I was twelve that was the thing I wanted to most was to be dating a man who I love, about to get a job, and be on my own. Now that its here, I can’t seem to run away from a job and being on my own fast enough! The boy part is great, don’t get me wrong, but the rest can stay away.
At least I’m not as old as my brother ☺
